With Great Power Comes Great Frustration

Being Spiderman really is not as great as you would think. Although some of the perks are great like, swinging from webs, getting the girls, and not having to wear glasses, it honestly kind of bites.

The Mask Situation

Whenever I swing around town as Spiderman I wear a mask. Everyone knows it! It goes with my outfit, its breathable, and it looks really cool. Now people want me to wear another mask on top of the one I already wear! How does that make any sense. I literally had to publish my own smear campaign about how I’m supposed to be cancelled because I wasn’t wearing a surgical mask over my regular mask. Do people think I my actual face looks like that? If only a spider that injected reality checks into people existed.

Faulty Spidey Senses

I get that I chose to be anonymous but sometimes I get really tired of people not knowing who I really am. One time as Spiderman I saved this old lady from getting hit by a bus. I did the whole shebang. I swung down, snatched her off the street, and placed her gently on the sidewalk. She was swooning all over me. I literally had to pry her arm off of me.

A week later I see her at the grocery store and I’m just in my regular clothes. I smiled at her and she started screaming at me. Saying how a young men these days are so disgusting. I almost regretted what I did for her last week. Knowing that I’ve helped people like that really gets my webs in a knot.

Movie Remakes

I hate all the remakes of my movie. I don’t get why they keep making so many without me when I’m still spinning! I’m never doing much these days. I get that while we were filming the original I would disappear to save people, but I wasn’t a diva. I made the franchise and now they’re phasing me out! Like who even are Tom Holland and Andrew Garfeild? What really makes me mad is that they didn’t even ask me to come to set when they were filming with the imposters. Their webbing techniques were obviously terrible. Had they just asked me to come I would have happily showed them the ropes. Its honestly disrespectful.