Tag Archives: Big Sister Advice

Spot The Fake Homie


EDITED – Mar. 18TH, 2023

What is a “homie”?

Homie is a friend you can count on. It’s usually someone that is part of your friend group or someone who has known for a very long time (eg. childhood).

How to spot a fake homie:

1. They only reach out when in need

A fake friend rarely reaches out to you and when they do, they want something from you. Oftentimes, you are the one who is planning the hangouts or reaching out first. This can be difficult to spot because we all have different friends for different activities. Thus, a key to spotting this is to look at the conversation history. If you notice that there are more messages from you than the other person, red flag.

2. They don’t stand up for you

A fake friend won’t protect your image. They allow people to say incorrect things about you by not correcting them. They often value their own image over yours, thus not correcting an individual because it can tarnish their own or they do not think it is of value. However, this is done in a very subtle way and thus only being able to notice that one is doing this by repeated incidents.

3. Criticism

Often time, you feel the need to act or dress a certain way to avoid judgment when hanging out with that person. This leads to some worries about sharing some personal problems because you have a fear they might judge you.

CAUTION: Building a friendship off sh*t talking

My high school was a very toxic place. The social environment was very cliquey. That is, everyone had their own little group with little room for new additional members. But, everyone wanted to be liked, but they themselves do not like everyone. As a result, there was a lot of pretending to be one’s friend but in reality, they were critiquing the other’s behaviour, actions, and/or appearance. Coming from a high school environment like this, sh*t talking was a big problem that caused drama between individuals and/or groups. But also, helped develop friendships as they have a common hatred for an individual. And so after 5 years of experience, I’ve come up with a list of reasons of why building a friendship off sh*t talking is never a good idea.

1. There’s often no common interest besides the people you “hate”

When friendships begin to form out of a shared hatred for another person, it is typically the sole reason you ended up being friends with that person. Rarely do friendships that begin in this manner remain for a very long period. It’s because this kind of friendship frequently runs out of things to talk about because the only thing they had in common was their “hatred” for the same individual. Even if this isn’t true of all friendships, it could feel weird if there isn’t any sh*t talking in the conversation.

2. Distrust

With a friendship like this one, it’s hard to trust the other person. When things go sideways or potentially end badly, there’s going to be a fear that they might be talking about you the same way they were dissing the people you both “hate”.

3. Surrounding yourself with negative energy

Negative energy is generated by talking sh*t because the comments are negative. When a friendship is built on this kind of energy, every time you engage with that friend, you are surrounding yourself with negativity.