Author Archives: in my kaizen

Peer Review 1 – Spinning Stufful

Spinning Stufful is an adventure log that stores the adventures Becca goes on as she transits to other places while spinning poke stops and catching Pokemon.

A really simple design with just three colorsβ€”white, yellow, and greyβ€”welcomes me as soon as I approach the website. I am immediately drawn to the yellow text that directs me to what Becca’s blog is about and what content her blog features. As someone who is not too familiar with Pokemon, I would love to see some colours that correlate to Becca’s adventures or related to Pokemon to link the game to her blog. However, I appreciate Becca’s current theme since it draws my attention to the first thing I would want my reader to read, which is what the site is about.

Spinning Stufful Homepage

Exploring Spining Stufful gives me a sense of who Becca is. However, because her blog is still in its early phases, it is not fully developed. I’d like to learn more about her adventures and get a feel of who Becca is, as well as her relationship with Pokemon, as I’m sure her love for this game stemmed from a certain moment in her life.

As well as, Becca can do some very creative things with her blog and generate a community of Pokemon players to relate to her adventures and she begins to do so by inviting her readers to become friends with her on Pokemon Go.

Spinnning Stufful’s Pokemon Invitation

I love the intention of this but I do find that this method is inconvient to the reader because they essentially need to go out of their way to message and wait for a reponse. This method can lose potential readers who would like an additional friend on Pokemon Go. I think a way to help attract more readers to befriend Becca on Pokemon Go is inserting a QR code or inserting an image of Becca’s trainer code.

In conclusion, Spinning Stufful is off to a great start and I believe that Becca can have so much fun with her blog in some really cool and unique ways. I’m excited to see how Becca level’s up Spinning Stuffuls.

Spot The Fake Homie

EDITED – Mar. 18TH, 2023

What is a “homie”?

Homie is a friend you can count on. It’s usually someone that is part of your friend group or someone who has known for a very long time (eg. childhood).

How to spot a fake homie:

1. They only reach out when in need

A fake friend rarely reaches out to you and when they do, they want something from you. Oftentimes, you are the one who is planning the hangouts or reaching out first. This can be difficult to spot because we all have different friends for different activities. Thus, a key to spotting this is to look at the conversation history. If you notice that there are more messages from you than the other person, red flag.

2. They don’t stand up for you

A fake friend won’t protect your image. They allow people to say incorrect things about you by not correcting them. They often value their own image over yours, thus not correcting an individual because it can tarnish their own or they do not think it is of value. However, this is done in a very subtle way and thus only being able to notice that one is doing this by repeated incidents.

3. Criticism

Often time, you feel the need to act or dress a certain way to avoid judgment when hanging out with that person. This leads to some worries about sharing some personal problems because you have a fear they might judge you.

Venting vs. Talking Sh*t – is there a difference?

At times, we can get very overwhelmed by the emotions we are experiencing. Whether it’s good or bad, we often want to talk about it with someone. But when it comes to a situation that occurred between you and another person, where does the line fall between venting about someone and talking sh*t about that person? Let’s talk about it.

What is Venting?

Venting is a way to express frustration or other negative feelings about a situation. The focus of the conversation is on you, typically about how something unfolded or how it made you feel. When you vent, you are often seeking advice or a solution to the situation.

What is Talking Sh*t?

Talking Sh*t is when you speak negatively about a person’s character. It involves gossiping, rumours, making fun of someone, and general negativity towards a person’s characteristics. When talking sh*t, it focuses on the other person. It consists of “She is or He is” rather than “I felt”.

Is there a difference?

Personally, I think there is a difference. That is, you can vent about someone & not talk sh*t. The difference is in the choice of words and the focus/goal of the conversation. For example, “Vivian did X, Y, and Z. It made me feel sh*t”, is a form of venting. It doesn’t stray away from the main point, being the way Vivian’s actions made you feel. Versus saying “Vivian did X, Y, and Z. She always does this sh*t and continues to go on picking at Vivian and her character”, is a form of sh*t talking.

We all get overwhelmed with our emotions and sometimes we just need to talk about it. However, I acknowledge that not everyone sees the difference. The line that divides the two is very fine and oftentimes, people are venting but also sh*t talking at the same time. As a result, venting to the wrong person can result in the same consequences as sh*t talking.

So then, we are left with the question of whether there is a difference between venting and sh*t talking, if it often is combined when doing either? Let me know your thoughts below!

CAUTION: Building a friendship off sh*t talking

My high school was a very toxic place. The social environment was very cliquey. That is, everyone had their own little group with little room for new additional members. But, everyone wanted to be liked, but they themselves do not like everyone. As a result, there was a lot of pretending to be one’s friend but in reality, they were critiquing the other’s behaviour, actions, and/or appearance. Coming from a high school environment like this, sh*t talking was a big problem that caused drama between individuals and/or groups. But also, helped develop friendships as they have a common hatred for an individual. And so after 5 years of experience, I’ve come up with a list of reasons of why building a friendship off sh*t talking is never a good idea.

1. There’s often no common interest besides the people you “hate”

When friendships begin to form out of a shared hatred for another person, it is typically the sole reason you ended up being friends with that person. Rarely do friendships that begin in this manner remain for a very long period. It’s because this kind of friendship frequently runs out of things to talk about because the only thing they had in common was their “hatred” for the same individual. Even if this isn’t true of all friendships, it could feel weird if there isn’t any sh*t talking in the conversation.

2. Distrust

With a friendship like this one, it’s hard to trust the other person. When things go sideways or potentially end badly, there’s going to be a fear that they might be talking about you the same way they were dissing the people you both “hate”.

3. Surrounding yourself with negative energy

Negative energy is generated by talking sh*t because the comments are negative. When a friendship is built on this kind of energy, every time you engage with that friend, you are surrounding yourself with negativity.

The Start of Something New

𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘀𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘡 #2

Starting a new project is always the hardest part. I find that my biggest problem is finding where to begin.

When starting “in my kaizen”, my dilemma stood between what I wanted people to know, what should be kept offline, and the concept of my blog. I have always wanted to put myself out on the internet but there are several things that hold me back.

Firstly, I’m an in-person person. That is, I rather embarrass myself and express my true self in person than send an embarrassing message that you can, at any point in time, go back and laugh at me. This is the result of living through a pandemic where all social interactions were limited to just your household for quite some time.

Secondly, a part of me enjoys the secrecy that comes with being offline. Since most people are online and posting a lot of their daily life, I grew fond of the potential curiosity that comes with being offline.

But ultimately, I wanted to have the concept of my blog make sense to the content it contains and vice versa. And so, I created a list of possible topics I wanted my blog to talk about and a vision board, comprising of images in a certain aesthetic I want my blog to present as well or be associated with.

I then spent time working out the technicals, like pages and categories. It was quite confusing at first but with the help of some google searches, youtube videos, and simply just playing around, I end up figuring it out. However, there are certain changes I want to make that I currently do not if it’s possible. I’m continuing to look into achieving these changes, ultimately making it a site that can be easily navigated.

Strangers In Real Life vs. Strangers Online

𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘀𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘡 #1

Strangers were once a type of person I was told to avoid. But it then developed into a task we are encouraged to do on a daily with guides such as, “How to Talk to Strangers IRL” outlining different methods like triangulating to conquer the barrier that lies in between you and someone you do not know to hopefully gain a new connection. However, I have always been a little hesitant to interact with a stranger. A part of the reason is the paranoia that stems from the stories my parents told me for educational purposes when I was a little kid, the news, and recollections of strange or spooky programs that would air when my sister had nothing else to watch on television late at night. Another part is the possible awkward interaction that might occur. Where it feels as though you missed the social cue that they did not want to be spoken with, resulting in a sense of embarrassment. Ironically, I didn’t feel as scared online, especially in the past. Maybe this was because of the lack of education surrounding the internet and internet safety, the ability to conceal oneself identity, or just the inherent nature of technology. Regardless of the reasoning, I was more likely to reach out to a stranger via online than in real life. That is, it seems a lot easier and I preferred it that way, or so I thought.

During the midst of the pandemic, my preference of interacting with strangers online or in real life was put to the test. As the virus began to spread and limitations were slowly being enforced, online interactions with friends and strangers was all we had as in-person interactions was seen as a forbidden activity for a little while. In the beginning, I loved it. It felt like it was just what I needed, a break from the world. However as time went on, it became something I missed. It became a foreign feeling that I frequently tried to remember the feeling of. As a result of experiencing the limitations imposed on us, even if I’m hesitant and a little fearful of approaching a stranger in real life, I prefer to go through the awkwardness in-person than to avoid that tension and talk through a screen.

I’ve learned that if you do not make the situation awkward, then it won’t be awkward. And I live by that. Or at least just let me think so. Thus, I approached the person next to me in the lecture with a little hesitation. As expected, it went well. Maybe it was a little easier because we both can talk about something class related as a topic of conversation versus a complete stranger where you have to find a shared interest or experience through a multitude of various questions. But if this was an online class, I can’t deny that I would have no hesitation in sending a message to another person in class. And so, I guess you can call me an introverted extrovert? Or maybe someone who sucks at talking to new people?