Author Archives: Nimra

“I’m here for you”

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“Im here for you” is a poem I wrote a while back when I was having a bad day, and a friend reached out to me to check up on me. It made me think about how there are some people in your life that will sit through the storms with you. And while sometimes it’s hard to reach out when you are struggling, I promise you that there is always someone out there who cares for you and who is willing to listen to your concerns.

After a heavy night
The bags under your eyes
Want to be popped
The weight of the blanket seems impossible to take off.

You’re stuck again
Until eventually you get out of bed
And you stop
you get up to nourish yourself
But your body throbs

You change
wash up
Put your earbuds in
To silence the noises from outside to within
Somethings not right
When will it end

You keep skipping songs.
Until suddenly
You hear lyrics
That encompass your existence
That listen to you and become your assistants

Next thing you know
You get a notification on your phone
From someone you’ve known

They say hello
And things start to look brighter
Things start to unfold

You’ve wanted to distance yourself.
Until you realize their tone
Of wanting to soothe you
And it goes

“I’m here for you through the highs and the lows.” -nimra

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The post “I’m here for you” first appeared on NimrasCanvas.

Finding Solace and Joy in Photography and Film

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Since the start of 2020, I have been taking more photos than ever before. At first, it was to remember the moments during the pandemic, but I slowly wanted to take pictures of everything. I realized that I wanted to look back to see how far I’ve come in the later years. I also wanted to capture the moments in my life where I felt the most peace or got the most joy.

Some moments of peace between 2021 and 2022

I have recently been interested in making TikToks, and since I am trying to incorporate more media into this blog, I thought I would share!

I am trying to make one TikTok for each month of 2022. Below is one I made for February:

@nimbits

The good moments of February #february #life #vlog #browngirl #vancouver #muslimtiktok #hijabitiktok #vancity

♬ Lost – Album Version – Frank Ocean

Taking pictures, making films, and playing around with the camera are activities that make me happy. It also brings me peace to look back on those moments. It’s almost like self-care for me, and I look forward to capturing more moments.

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The post Finding Solace and Joy in Photography and Film first appeared on NimrasCanvas.

Ramadan Reflections

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Ramadan is the 9th month in the Islamic lunar calendar and is celebrated by over 1.6 billion Muslims worldwide. This month, Muslims worldwide fast (abstain from food or water) from dawn to dust for 30 days. However, we don’t only abstain from food or water, and we obtain from gossiping, sex, bad habits, and more. Muslims are encouraged to give charity, volunteer, and give back to the community. Ramadan is a month of purification and inner healing, and it is when we discipline ourselves and let go of our lower desires to strive to be our best selves.

This Ramadan, I wrote a poem about my thoughts on my first day of fasting for the month. I first talk about hunger. When we are hungry, it is natural to feel lethargic and of low energy, but surprisingly enough, it makes me aware of everything, I can focus on my schoolwork, and I am in tune with all my emotions. While fasting can be overwhelming and exhausting sometimes, there’s a hidden peace behind the process of it.

Ramadan Reflections: 04-03-22

There’s a stillness in hunger which I cannot explain.

My body moves slowly,

but I am in touch with everything.

I pick up the pieces of my soul again.

I maneuver with a type of grace I no longer need to pretend.

I can trace my sins and turn back to You,

knowing that one day,

I will come back to You.

there’s a stillness in hunger which I cannot explain,

but what I do know is only You can take away my pain – @nimras.canvas

The last two stanzas discuss my thoughts about God and myself. The first line of “…trace my sins and turn back to You” portrays me thinking of all my bad habits and trying to build new ones so I can turn back to God. The “You” refers to God, and “I will come back to You” refers to my thoughts on death and how I believe that I will go back to God at the end of my lifetime.

The last line in the last stanza of my poem signifies the rawness of Ramadan. As I stated before, Ramadan makes me in tune with all my emotions, including the painful ones. The last line reminds me that only God can take away my pain.

Many Muslims have different experiences in Ramadan because the month is challenging physically, mentally, and spiritually. However, the community is the strongest during Ramadan because many of us are fasting simultaneously and have a shared unity to relate to. Here is a video of a crowd of Muslims praying in NYC before breaking their fast (having iftar/dinner).

Khaled comments, “This video of Muslims praying in NYC is triggering a lot of rage. So… here it is again”. I think the video triggered rage because Islamophobia still exists, and hate crimes against Muslims are still relevant in today’s society. As a visibly Muslim woman and POC, I have experienced some hateful comments and micro-aggressions, and it is hurtful to see people be so cruel. However, it doesn’t stop Muslims from showing up and practicing our peaceful religion, and I hope more people can see its beauty.

References

https://www.statista.com/topics/3796/ramadan-2017/

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The post Ramadan Reflections first appeared on NimrasCanvas.

How I Edit My Writing

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As a writer, editing is essential. It may be difficult for your audience to understand your message without editing. However, the editing depends on the context, and the ways we edit are based on our personal preferences.

Poetry

In poetry, there is wiggle room to edit without using correct grammar. For example, I can write as I talk and make the rhyme, rhythm, and imagery work with one another. My process of writing poetry is similar to journaling. I spill out all my thoughts while trying to make sense of it through analogies, rhyming, etc. This is my ‘word vomit’ approach, so it doesn’t look pretty, but this approach results in more raw and personal poetry.

Another approach when writing poetry is one I learned in my Gr 10 English class. This approach is more ‘bottom-up’ because I first think about the topic I wish to write about, then write down all the keywords I can think of. I also pick a primary setting or analogy. After thinking of all the components, I edit and see how I can incorporate all those ideas into a poem.

I use both the ‘word vomit’ and ‘bottom up’ approaches when writing poetry, but I also use both strategies when writing my academic papers or blog posts.

All My Other Writing

I’ve always been drawn to my ‘word vomit’ method for all my writing. I always tell my friends that I write in “baby English” and then edit and organize my words to make my writing make sense. For essays, I ensure that the structure of my work matches my thesis or main argument. In my blog posts, I also try to ask myself if what I am writing is relevant to the topic I wish to discuss. For these types of writing, spend more time looking at more grammar errors than poetry because there is an expectation of making sure the work looks professional.

In my blog NimrasCanvas, I try to look for grammatical errors. I also use Grammarly to double-check my work. However, I also wish to keep my blog casual and straightforward, so I don’t change words or my tone as much as I do for academic essays and research papers.

What We Require While Editing

Editing requires focus, but it also requires feedback. For example, in our peer reviews for this class, we provided feedback to our peers on their websites. This feedback is important because sometimes we get so caught up in our work that we overlook errors and other ideas we could add. From my feedback, I realized I could add more pictures to my blog and change my font, so it helped me develop my blog better.

While having others help us with editing is productive, we also need to balance our editing time. Sometimes I get frustrated in a school setting because I don’t have enough time to edit my work. I will sometimes keep receiving feedback without having enough time to implement it. I believe setting aside extra time for editing makes for excellent writing.

Another helpful idea is to limit your distractions. As a procrastinator, this is hard for me to do. I think all students can relate to this. We sometimes want to do our thing and not be bombarded with essays and assignments. While we technically can write an essay in one day, to receive good marks, we need a few days to edit it before submitting it. I am a hypocrite as I type this because I always leave essays to the last minute. However, I hope to manage my time to have enough energy to focus and edit my work entirely.

Everyone’s editing process is unique to them and how they learn. Some people may type with correct grammar instantly, while others need a few tries to get it right. Editing errors can make you look unprofessional and lazy on a blog or business platform. However, I also believe that they make us human. We should care for our writing and avoid errors when we see them, but we shouldn’t edit ourselves out in the editing process.

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The post How I Edit My Writing first appeared on NimrasCanvas.

For the Love of Writing

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English was a subject I wasn’t too fond of in school. My elementary school teachers put me in ESL because English wasn’t my first language; Urdu was. However, what annoyed me about ESL was how I already knew English. I just happened to have an accent at the time. Therefore, I didn’t get the most positive start in the learning process.

My writing skills finally began to progress in grades 6 and 7. We did short story units, poetry units, and book reports in those grades. For one group project, my group and I had to do a book report on “Stargirl” and showcase one of the skills we learned in our units. I chose to write a poem about Stargirl in the group, and holy, was it painful and funny to look back on.

Stargirl poem from elementary school. Retrieved from @nimras.canvas

I guess I didn’t know how to spell that time or make sense of a storyline. But now, I don’t know what I would do without writing as an outlet.

I am a natural overthinker, and writing helps me get all my thoughts on paper so they don’t bombard me. For example, before writing this blog post, I was overthinking, so I had to sit with myself and type away to release some of my stress.

One can call writing a healthy coping mechanism, but I share some of what I write or my poetry because I know someone can relate to it. Even if it impacts one person, I know I have done my job.

In the future, I want to invest in a typewriter because they look super aesthetic but also because I want to see my words print out on paper in real time, and I think it will add a nice touch to my blog posts or Instagram posts moving forward.

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The post For the Love of Writing first appeared on NimrasCanvas.

VALID

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Today, I was sitting in class thinking about how everyone I interact with is feeling behind, overwhelmed, or out of place. We collectively go through hidden struggles, yet our stories are not being shared. Our stories are being suppressed as students because we are all working to have a paper with our name on it. This waiting game of seeing if we are ‘educated enough’ to talk about our area of expertise translates to feelings of unworthiness. Another reason our true stories are hidden is because we are so busy calculating the next best thing that we forget to live in the moment and be human.

The first stanza in my poem VALID portrays the reminder that “your story is valid without a degree, or credentials, or empirical evidence.”

We often forget that we are more than our labels.

School is only one example of how we may not feel like our experiences are valid. However, there are many more ways people may not feel worthy of their life stories. However I believe that people should not be shut out of conversations because they dont have the type of education Western society expects them to. Going to school or not, going to work or not, living at home or not, your experiences are yours, and no one can take that away from you.

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The post VALID first appeared on NimrasCanvas.

MORE THAN A DAY

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In honor of International Women’s Day, I wrote poetry inspired by one of my favorite poems called “Phenomenal Woman” by Maya Angelou.

I first heard of Maya Angelou in my grade 10 English class when I started taking writing poetry more seriously. In Angelou’s beautiful poem, she uses the phrase “phenomenally, phenomenal women” and describes women being unapologetically themselves.

However, in my poem “MORE THAN A DAY,” I describe my feelings about International Women’s Day and how women deserve to be celebrated on more than just a day.

MORE THAN A DAY

Today is a day to celebrate phenomenal women.

But I know deep down the struggles we face.

__________________________________________________

The pain and exhaustion linger beyond trace.

The physical, emotional, and spiritual labor

From raising families out of nothing

From facing undiagnosed illnesses

From living up to male standards

From putting our needs on hold

__________________________________________________

To all my phenomenal women.

I know you are tired.

But I know you are the brightest in the room.

I know you are more than just your beautiful body.

I know you are more than what any of these fools make of you.

So I understand how today is a day to celebrate ourselves because we deserve an uproar.

We deserve a parade, an anthem, a standing ovation.

__________________________________________________

But why did we have to prove ourselves to celebrate?

Why isn’t our mere existence a celebration?

__________________________________________________

So to all my phenomenally, phenomenal women.

Who the world watches in awe today.

Remember that you are more than a single day.

You are a lifetime.

You’ll never fade away. -@nimras.canvas

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Creative Project – Revamping my space

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This week, I chose to redecorate my bedroom completely, and it felt wonderful. I think I was desperate for some change to start moving differently. Maybe this is not the best mentality. I know change truly comes from within, but gosh, is it nice to have a fresh start.


Some backstory, I moved into a new bedroom at the start of my Zoom university experience, and I painted the back wall red/maroon.

After looking at this old photo, I see how great the room looks. I loved this room. Someone close to me was helping me buy the matching pillows and everything along with it to make sure I liked how my room turned out. I vividly remember sitting on my bed with the paint drying, planning out my whole schedule for my first classes for uni. Maybe it was the school nerves, but I actually followed through with the goals I set for myself. Heck, I even got my first job in the same timeframe. These accomplishments and a lot more followed with this red paint, and I am proud of my growth. However, there were some bad times, and I don’t think the red was helping my mood at all. I would walk into my bedroom to relax, but I encountered stress. Sometimes, the momentum from stress was what I needed to catalyze my hustle mentality, but soon things got toxic. Who knew something as simple as a color could impact my mental health so astonishingly. This red room held onto so many past experiences, and some of those values no longer align with me. Therefore, it was finally time to move on.

Today, my room is light beige, and I plan to plaster my wall with old book pages and inspiring words. What’s funny is that the room aesthetic matches the aesthetic of this blog and the @nimras.canvas Instagram page (I know, shocker!). Now the room is calmer when I walk into it. When I was in my kitchen doing some work today, I took a break and walked back into my room, and for once, it felt safe again. As I am sitting typing this, I have my skincare on my face and am vibing to Lofi music, and I feel at peace.

I want to move forward with that peaceful energy in mind. This energy will help me progress with grace and invite the things into my life that bring me peace and joy and make me feel like myself. I don’t want to settle for anything less than that.

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Music Review – Kota The Friend “Grateful”

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Welcome to my first music review! This review is dedicated to Kota The Friend otherwise known as Avery Marcel Joshua Jones. I am choosing this artist because I went into 2022 listening to him. I discovered Kota in November 2021 when someone sent me the song “grateful”. The cover of this song is of Avery’s son and I think it is so wholesome.

The song “Grateful” has the following lyrics: (I have put the lines I love in red)

“Yeah, yeah
Out in Colorado
Hit the lotto
Got a cabin in the middle of the mountain
Shit, I feel like I’m the mayor now

Used to sip on bottle after bottle
I was drownin’, get the goggles
Now I’m rooted in the present, what you sayin’ now

Everything is love, that’s the motto
Spend the winter out in southern California, where it’s warmer
I don’t play around

I don’t give a fuck if niggas coming for your soul
They don’t know you, if I love you
Homie, I’ma always say it loud

Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful
Even in a rough patch I’ma always make due
Even when I’m down bad, I be sayin’ thank you
Even when I’m wild sad
I could never hate you
Nah

Get up and I get it on the worst day
Self-care, nigga that’s the first thing
Grind ’til you chillin’ on a workday
And when you get it I hope you are

Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful, yah, yah
Thank you, Jesus, Buddha, Jah or Allah
Please insert whatever you believe in
Celebrating this abundant season

Thank you for the setbacks on the way up
Thank you for the stories that they made up
Thank you for my Noah’s arch
That’s word to blu’, the deep blue sea, can’t fuck with me

I’ma be great when you showin’ me love
I’ma be great when you throwin’ me hate
I’ma be great even when I am done
You got another thing comin’ if you think I’ma break

I was all around the world for a couple of months
I was out in long beach for a couple of weeks
I be walking through the town just like you and your friends
When you see me on the block there ain’t nothin’ to see

I’m in Malibu, nigga, what’s up?
Took a trip to Sedona
We was whippin’ the truck
Then we headed to Montana
We was looking for ye
And I know you couldn’t make it but we sending you love, yeah

I remember we was still on the block
Big dreams
I ain’t even have a cent to my name
Shit crave

We was tryna hide the blunt from the cops and stay low
Making three songs every day
Now I’m up and I am

Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful, yah, yah
Thank you, Jesus, Buddha, Jah or Allah
Please insert whatever you believe in
Celebrating this abundant season

Thank you for the setbacks on the way up
Thank you for the stories that they made up
Thank you for my Noah’s arch
That’s word to blu’, the deep blue sea, can’t fuck with me

Woke up feelin’ like yes
Now I got another day
And I’m doin’ my best
Give a fuck about the fame
I could really care less
I am here to spread love
Rollin’ outta my bed

I done came a long way
From the person I was
They be throwin’ me they pain
And I let it all come

I don’t never shoot back
I just send ’em back love
Always had mad love
Now I got it backed up

Now my gun goin’
Love for you
And love for you
And you and you

We only human
We deserve it
Trauma real and you been hurting
I been hurtin’, we been searchin’
I been learning, broke the surface
Found my purpose, open curtains, wrote these verses, I been workin’
Tables turnin’ Life get good when you moving with love
And what you need is the shit that you want
Every day a nigga

Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful, yah, yah
Thank you, Jesus, Buddha, Jah or Allah
Please insert whatever you believe in
Celebrating this abundant season

Thank you for the setbacks on the way up
Thank you for the stories that they made up
Thank you for my Noah’s arch
That’s word to blu’, the deep blue sea, can’t fuck with me“

I was mesmerized by this song because it described gratitude as a state of love. The line “everything is love, that the motto” resonated with me because it reminded me of the deep conversations my cousins would have with the family when they came to visit. I remember being 11 hearing theories of finding a little bit of love/God in everything, and it stuck with me.


Speaking of God, the line where he says, “thank you, Jesus, Buddha, Jah, or Allah. Please insert whatever you believe in,” was pure because I feel that even if you don’t believe in God, this line resonates. We all have something or maybe some higher power to thank for all we have. Abundance doesn’t just come willingly; it has a source.

The other line that resonated with me was “grind ’til you chillin’ on a workday.” I love the emphasis on “workday.” Usually, we work hard during the weekdays (our typical workdays) but imagine if we worked hard on weekends and had the whole week to chill? Now that is a perspective shift.


Love is something we all yearn for, Kota The Friend encapsulates this desire perfectly in these lines: “We only human. We deserve it. Trauma real and you been hurting. I been hurtin’, we been searchin’… Tables turnin’ Life get good when you moving with love”. I believe these lines let us know that we are not alone. In lines “you been hurting. I been hurtin’, we been searching…” The transition from you to I to we shows you we all are hurting together. Once we understand this, we will all shed a little more love for each other.


I listen to “Grateful” by Kota The Friend whenever I have to remind myself to be grateful or if I want to be filled with the spark of love again. Often, I find myself losing that spark. However, I really want to be left feeling the gratitude and love in me so I can send it back to others again.

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