Hi, welcome backkkk to another T Time! Another day another theme! Since the term had finally ended and the number of visitors for this site is lowering down. Guess I might talk about something a bit more personal. I believe Read More
After a year of hard work, my sorority comes together for a night of celebrations: our annual formal!
This year the theme was “The Great Gatsby” and was planned by my two beautiful sisters, Caterina and Henna! They put in so much hard work and everything looked so beautiful. The gold wine bottles with the feathers were perfection!
I was very excited for this years formal because last years, which was my first one, was so beautiful. I do not remember most of it… for reasons… but I looked great, the food was great, and the venue/decorations were stunning. That’s all that matters! I do remember getting on a yellow bus after the dinner portion… it was a moment.
A side story to go along with this formal themed post is I LITERALLY have the worst luck with formals. Ever since grade 11 it has just been quite the journey. That’s a story to tell another day, perhaps on a podcast, but let’s focus on the positive! Shout out to my bae, Natasha, for always pulling through and being the best date I could ever dream of!
I found this beautiful silver dress on prettylittlething.com and after a lot of money and alterations later, it was ready to be worn. I was personally inspired by Lady Gaga’s 2019 Grammy’s dress and Lauren Burnham’s limo exit dress on season 22 of The Bachelor.
Since I spent so much on my dress, I had to be boujee on a budget. I wore my high school graduation heels and my friend Lauren’s elegant and sparkly earrings. All that was needed for a sparkling look! As you can tell, I love sparkly things.
After months of preparation, shopping with my other sisters, sharing each others looks, and gathering advice, the night finally arrived…
Our formal was held at the Sandman Hotel Vancouver City Centre in their ballroom. My sisters and I decided to stay in a hotel room so then we can get ready and be prepared for anything that may happen in the night. I personally live very far, so this was my best option.
My sister, Ryley, and I decided to decorate our hotel room as much as we could before we got ready. We blew up balloons and I even brought a disco light for the nighttime. We really wanted to make the most of it as we expected a lot of people were going to use our room as the “pre-game” room.
After frantically getting ready and me still being indecisive about what I need to wear, we finally arrived down to the ballroom (in a very slow and crowded elevator).
The ballroom had dim lighting which was hard for pictures but really set the tone of the night. The black and gold accents on the seating chart, the round tables with the black table cloth and gold wine bottle with the feather, and everyone looking divine, it was a magical night.
My fellow sister, Caterina, sure came through with the country slow tunes until my date, Natasha, grabbed the aux.
I won two awards (Most Improved Academics and Helping Hand) and received a shoutout for my hard work as our Guardian this semester. Caterina and Henna played a slideshow of everything we have done this past year and it was the cutest!
I have to admit, I did not take many photos solely based on: my dress being annoying to walk in, I am lazy, and other people took the photos whom I do not remember so I barely have any on my phone. But the ones I do have are truly iconic!
The dinner portion included a buffet with many options and we were all truly blessed.
After the night ended, we all quickly got changed and ran to The Pint to make guest list.
The jams were playing, the drinks were flowing, we busted it down, and there were so many people I met that I could not keep up. It was super fun. Especially stopping at McDonalds on the way home.
After finally returning home at 2 A.M., it was time to settle down and truly reminisce on the night.
This past year in my sorority has been super special to me. I got a position, a little, made some amazing memories, made so many new sisters, grew closer to sisters, and will be entering the next year as the new Vice President (following the steps of my grand-big and big!). I cannot wait for what this new year holds.
I can truly say that being in a sorority has made me the happiest I have been in a while. My sisters have been there for me through so many transitions in my life, especially these past few months. I am so sad to be saying goodbye to some of them this year, but know that we will stay connected for life. I mean, 7 of us have matching tattoos, so we on that next level love!
I heard a little bell around 3 A.M.
I walked into my kitchen and was greeted by my new furry friend.
On March 11th, I was sick in bed and was sleeping away. My phone started to ring and it was my mom, who I obviously had to answer.
She texted me a photo of a 7 month old tabby cat that needed a new home. “Bean” was the name.
She asked me if I thought she was “cute.” I said “yes,” thinking it was just a casual question.
“Should we get her?” was the next.
I was very hesitant about the decision and cried for several hours later next to our cat, Scarlett.
Almost 3 years ago, I lost my beautiful cat, Rainbow. We had her since I was 2 years old and she was our absolute pride and joy, the best television watching pal, and had so much love to give everyone.
During our time with Rainbow, we also got another cat, Scarlett.
Rainbow always made sure to show Scar who the boss is. Scarlett is a less affectionate cat but jumped right on my lap when I had to say my last goodbye to Rainbow.
Since then, Scarlett and I have become closer. We formed a bond when I came back from New York and I was very scared to let another cat come into our life.
I was afraid to let my memory of Rainbow fade and have a new “replacement” of her.
I came home after a long Tuesday and was about to meet Bean for the first time.
My life changed for the good.
What was once hesitation is now pure happiness.
I learned that Rainbow will never be replaced and I am blessed to have those memories with her to hold on to forever. To reflect back on. Those will never change.
Only a week later, Bean has acted like a therapy cat to me. Between her cuddles, noises, excitement to see me… she gives me so much that I was missing.
I am writing this in the middle of the night just filled with love. In fact, I am currently refereeing a fight Scarlett is trying to start with Bean.
All of the hard times I face and tough days, she helps heal them. Pet’s really do cure all.
Scarlett is not a fan of Bean (yet) and it has been very hard to accept.
I know the time will come when they get used to each other.
But for now, I appreciate both of their love.
And for the first time…
I am thankful for this change.
Featured Image Reference: @BlueBittyMoon on weheartit
On September 2nd of 2018, I had to say goodbye to my teenage years and hello to my twenties. I personally feel like my teenage years ended when my mom cancelled my Seventeen Magazine subscription. It was a weird feeling to not have my age end with “teen” anymore. It feels bittersweet. I also find it weird that this is the decade I will have to truly become an adult. I have no idea what these years will hold but that makes me excited. I may move across the country, land my dream career, could potentially get married, see my friends have kids, and all things in between. Yikes.
I would say I have had the “typical” teenage experience. I experienced a lot of “firsts” from first “date” to first “heartbreak” (lol), skipped school to go to McDonalds, went on midnight drives and adventures with friends, sent those risky texts, had a room full of J-14 posters, went through a black eyeliner phase, spent summers at the lake and in my backyard with my best friends, turned the legal drinking age, had a Twitter fan account for various celebrities (which I have been forced to use because Twitter locked me out of my original account), and just truly lived my best life.
It has definitely been years of exploring, loving, and learning. One thing I am proud of is through all of this transition is that I have not lost myself. Being a teenager can be a really hard and a confusing experience. You don’t really know yourself and are trying to find out while juggling life.
I can proudly say I am still the Taylor Swift Loving, Concert Obsessed, Lost and Insecure, Sushi and Starbucks Loving, basic white girl you all know! I have dreams of living in a big city with my dream job and having a lowkey Hannah Montana life raising a family in the countryside. I want to open my own agency and potentially start my own magazine. I never would have thought my love for all things pop culture could lead me to this whole field. I hope to travel the world doing what I love and continue to live my best life. I hope one day I make an impact on someone’s life for the better.
Now, on a serious note, I decided to make this post to reflect on what I have learned and experienced through the years of being a teenager. Whenever I post something, I hope it helps someone in someway.
I hope you take something away from this post that could benefit you, help you from not making the same mistakes I have, blackmail me, realize you are not alone, anything.
Now, I present you the journey I have experienced as a quirky and relatable teen!
Take A Chance On Life
Something I have learned is to give everything a try, even if it may turn out really bad.
I regret skipping out on a job interview when I was 15 because I was too nervous to go. I could have started gaining experience and breaking out of my shell earlier on, but my mental health is alwaysgoing to be more important. Thankfully I have come around and am not afraid of taking chances.
I wish I didn’t care SO much about what people thought about me growing up. I would not want to wear certain things, dye my hair, and many other things because I thought people would secretly think it was weird.
Here is my first story: I decided to be a wild pre-teen and add blonde streaks to my hair in the 6th grade. People definitely thought it was weird, even telling me it looked like “Halloween.” I kept that hair till grade 9. I think people were just so used to seeing me as the same person all their life that me doing something drastic threw them all off. I also used to have a unibrow, that someone “kindly” pointed out to me in elementary. I tried to fix it myself in my mom’s bathroom and ended up shaving off half my eyebrow before my softball windup party. Honestly, I am blessed with the thick Italian gene brows that people strive for these days, so I should have embraced it. It wasn’t until last summer that I truly realized I need to put MYSELF first. Wear the clothes you want, cut your hair, love who you love, and all the things.
I am so thankful that I got over my freshman year of university shy self and joined a sorority sophomore year. It has brought me a community of support and I do not think I would be enjoying the whole university and life as an adult experience without them. I am currently very content in where my life is at right now. I am happy I can say that.
I am so for the whole “shooting your shot” mentality when it comes to dating and anything. I mean… it has failed for me every time I have tried but it is still worth a try! Slide in their DMs, ask for their number, apply to that job, just do it! I see all of this as, what is the worst that can happen? Rejection sucks but the sooner you try the quicker you can get over it and move onto the next. You will learn if you are wasting time that you could be putting into something better.
Balancing The Obstacles
I have dealt with a lot growing up. Some things I am not comfortable sharing. One thing I have learned is to take a step back and pinpointing what is important.
One ongoing obstacle that I am slowly feeling ready to open up about is my problem with my body and eating. Ever since I can remember, I have always had a hard time loving the way I looked and allowing myself to eat certain things. It is still something I deal with today, but I have learned it is okay and will take time to find a balance. It was hard discovering social media at such an early age and seeing all of these perceptions of what the expected body is and the look you need to have. Social media has changed the perception of my body. It is really hard to look past all of it and love who I am, but I make sure to remember I am doing the best I can and not feeling too guilty about how I may not be “living up to the idea image.”
Balancing my studies and social life has been awkward. I definitely found myself living a more social life this past fall semester and having my grades slip. I have such FOMO and do not want to remember my university years missing out on things I won’t be able to do in a few years because I have to do a reading. This upcoming year, I am going to make sure I find a balance and use my planner efficiently. I will find ways to allow myself to have a social life but making sure I maybe do a page or so of an essay before then. I blame my high school for making me a major procrastinator.
I think it is hard to help people find a balance, because we all have our own priorities. Knowing what is important in your life and letting yourself be wild can take time to balance. Education and mental health is important.
Take Risks, live in the moment (“My parents live in Ohio.” I had to), set goals, and take control of your life.
The One Where I Cried In A Club
Now, probably the most *tea* filled part of this post and adventure during my teenage years that I just needed to add because it was just… so dramatic.
A little disclaimer- You know I love you, but I kindly ask you to not message me questioning who these stories are about. (If you know, please do not leak it HAHA). Although part of what I do is producing content on the internet, I do have a private life and a lot that I do not share. You know I am always down for a conspiracy, but I share what I feel comfortable with and have (hopefully) moved on from the situations and would not like to relive them. But, as always, I have a lot of saved tea to spill for some future endeavours… so I will share all eventually (in detail), but for now, this is the only cup filled.
Inspired by one of my favourite content creators, Katy Bellotte, she wrote a post on her blog thekatyproject.com titled “Almost-Lovers”, and it basically talked about all of the boys she has had “things” with that could have potentially been lovers, but of course, has ended the same as they all do. Ghosting, second choices, ignoring you at parties, and all things inbetween. Every person has left us with a moment they cannot take away. After recently listening to her podcast (Thick & Thin), I have decided to share the first time I truly felt a “heartbreak.” A.k.a I discovered I do have a heart and can feel things. Crazy!
Well, this is not the story I am telling (mainly because I forgot why) but in the first grade something happened with my “crush” and all I remember is laying on my parents bed, faced up at the ceiling, and aching inside. I really wish I knew why but that was the first time I FELT heartbreak. How random. ANYWAYS, this is my more grown up story of the time I cried in the club over someone who I thought felt the same way I did. (Narrator- we still do not know if they did, but that is besides the point. At the time, I assume THEY DID NOT).
A month or so before I was literally the “I don’t know why I’m crying in the club right now” meme, I met someone who I instantly felt a connection to. I ignored the feeling at first because I haven’t experienced that feeling in years. Since then, I still haven’t. It wasn’t until a few people came up to me a week later telling me they noticed it too and asked me about it.
I do not trust anyone these days. Even the thought of them being interested was not enough to make me BRAVE and talk to them more. Little did I know what was going to happen in the months to follow.
I pushed the feeling aside and ignored it. I was not going to go through another ninth grade dance watching my crush sway with my friend to “She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5 and having a single tear roll down my cheek. CLASSIC. My best friend still makes fun of me for it TO THIS DAY and we decided to make a playlist of all the songs I have cried to. (You’re Welcome.).
My friends event was coming up and I was really excited to see everyone again and go out. The day before, this person messaged me asking if I was busy that day. I will never forget seeing “ This person is typing…” for the first time since we met and feeling like I was in some Taylor Swift song.
Of course I was busy that day, so I told them but we had a plan to meet up later on and just say hello.
I was not comfortable going out alone, so my friend was going to come with me but got sick and did not stay long at the club and at this point I was already drinking and there was no way I could have gone.
I was messaging them throughout the night and it was going really well. But, here is the downfall: When I was in the club, I told them I couldn’t leave because I was, well, not functioning, and did not want to leave my friends. They were trying to find ways to see me but ultimately it was just not going to happen. I could feel something coming.
All I remember reading was “Okay. Whatever.” and I was SHOOK. It felt like everything that could have potentially happened was destroyed and they had given up on me. I thought I ruined something that could have grown.
My friend that was with me messaging them was like, “are you okay?”. I say “yes”, as tears are streaming down my face. If I have learned anything these years it is that I have MASTERED hiding my crying. There have been so many times I have been in the car or in public bawling and no one notices. Maybe no one cares about me but I like to think I mastered the art of hiding my emotions.
Through the loud music, people dancing, friends giving me the classic “You are so much better! He’s not worth it” pep talks, I felt an overwhelming about of emotions I have never experienced.
It was later when I got home (after finally finding a taxi. @Vancouver, why is it so hard?) I realized it was the beginning of what was going to be a new found feeling I have never experienced before.
I sat on my bathroom floor like the dramatic teenager I was and cried to “Getaway Car” and “New Year’s Day” by Taylor Swift. Random song selections, I know. I laugh at it now but at the time I was so sad! Tragic.
I ultimately got up and continued to live my best life because I had to go to work in a few hours. But since that moment, I have seen this person here and there. The feelings are not as strong, but something has stayed consistent and has worn off. I have seen people in between these times, but I have not found anything close to the feeling I found. And that is okay. I looked at this as being thankful I even found a feeling worth holding onto and know it is out there somewhere.
So moral of the story is: Feelings are weird and I am not a fan. I have definitely grown a lot since that moment and thank this summer for giving me the time to realize my worth and learn. The Emily at that moment thought this was the end of something special, but today I know there is so much more to experience and it is not worth the tears. I can now say I will not settle or fight for anything I feel is not reciprocated. I know love is out there and time has been my bff.
Even though this was a dramatic experience with an awkward ending (a story for another day), I thank this person for helping me realize my worth and discover this feeling. As Katy said:
“He or she was not just a failed attempt at what you will eventually have with someone else. Every potential relationship is either love, or a lesson. Don’t look at it any other way.”
Like, Realizing Things
I guess ultimately I can say that it is WILD how nothing truly matters.
Everything I cried about, was worried for, and thought I would never get over, eventually wore off. I think I have just become numb to everything that used to bother me and I am kind of glad.
Of course, there are some things I do need to worry about. I will worry about them when the time comes and continue to just live in the now.
Life is hard. Being a teenager was hard. Trying to find your place in this world and living instead of just existing has taken some time but I am happy with where I am at.
A Special Note
I just wanted to say thank you to my family, friends, sisters, mentors, teachers, and everyone who has played a part in getting me to where I am today. I am so lucky!
I Am Left With This
- I am a firm believer of dress like you are okay with that outfit being your ghost outfit for the rest of your life
- Elle Woods is my queen
- Appreciate your family
- Laughter is the best medicine
- School work is not worth the cost of your family
- It is okay not to know what you want to do in life
- Order your favorite dessert
- Send that text
- Be unapologetically yourself
- Quality over quantity
- Surround yourself with the best people you can grow with and conquer life with
- Give everyone a chance
- I will be on a reality show one day
- Be confident
- Spend all your money on concert tickets
- Remind people how much you care for them
In my 20’s, I am not letting anything hold me back. I am taking this time to be unapologetically myself and live the best life I can for me.
*All photos are my own*