Author Archives: Awkward Girl

A Famous Youtuber Review: Matt Shea

Well that was interesting.

In class the other day, I met a young man by the name of Matt Shea. A famous youtuber I hadn’t ever heard of until that day (I guess it’s because his content doesn’t get included amongst the abundance of mundane “what i eat in a day videos” that usually fill up my recommended page on youtube). Let me just say before I get into the nitty gritty, he was very nice and polite with the class and I liked that he seemed personable and easy to talk to. Although he was very nice and all, some of the things he said seemed to be a little contradictory if you ask me. He claims that he produces content that is true to his authentic youtube identity yet he seems to have fallen into the youtube trap of the “gossip” phenomenon. This gossip phenomenon I’m referring to is the “post what pleases” approach and to post what is trending instead of staying true to the content creators real identity. Now I am by no means a youtuber, and there are some “youtube pressures” (pressure to post certain content for more views, things like that) that I will never understand, so me saying that he sometimes posts just for views might just be what he needs to do to pay his bills you know?

Since his debut as a youtuber, his content has changed quite a bit from exclusively posting gaming videos to now expanding his scope of work into reviews of popular subjects as well as other non-gaming related content. Why has he done this? Why does he feel the need to contribute to something that is not necessarily any of his business? What I have gathered from it all is, it’s kind of all about the views. As much as you can try to be a successful youtuber strictly based on the persona you have created, creating more popular content is what’s safer and will most likely guarantee you a better pay day. Specifically referring to Matt, he was questioned on his video about the infamous Logan Paul.Now if you are not aware, Logan Paul pretty much broke the internet with his incredibly disrespectful video concerning live footage of death by suicide. Matt Shea took it upon himself to make a “reaction” video regarding the incident for his fan base. Not saying that Matt Shea isn’t allowed to talk about it, it’s just that I don’t really see how it is very relevant to his gaming youtube channel. I guess this whole situation made me really think about the role content creators play on youtube and the pressure they can sometimes face when it comes to what kind of content they are posting online. I think that with youtube evolving the way it has, into a more “clickbait” and gossip type platform, the pressures felt by youtubers are much stronger than ever before. To remain relevant, you must try and stay true to your true youtube identity whilst simultaneously posting popular content. In the end, perhaps Matt Shea is just doing the best he can with what youtube has become and so making a couple of Logan Paul videos is what has to be done in order for him to continue his career with youtube.

Dear Matt Shea, please don’t loose yourself in the jumble of it all, I really like your gaming content (especially the sims, I love sims!).


Awkward Girl

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A Love Letter to San Diego


I like San Diego, I like it quite a lot. I’ve always loved the beach and so just being near it makes me such a happy girl. This city also happens to be where one of the people I love the most in the world lives as well as it is home to some of the best Mexican food ever! (I don’t say that lightly, it really is amazeballs. Just thinking about it makes my heart long for a big massive California burrito.) These pictures were taken at PB which is what the locals call Pacific Beach. It’s like a really popular beach spot where the streets are filled with bars and coffee shops as well as a packed boardwalk filled with everything from pedestrians to skateboarders to scooter-ers…? (I don’t know what you call a person on a scooter so we’ll go with scooter-ers.) I love the vibe in this city, it’s like everyone wants to stay young forever, it’s awesome. I really wish I could stay young forever. This is now my fourth time in San Diego and every time I come, I fall more and more in love. It’s starting to be a problem though because every time it’s time to leave I get closer and closer to not getting back on my flight…Now don’t get me wrong, I love being from where I’m from and I’m very proud of it but when there are places like San Diego in the world, how can I not live there, I feel like it’s so me!

Even as a kid, I’ve always known exactly what I want, perhaps it’s partly because of my stubbornness but still. My mom has always told me that if I want something bad enough, I’ll find a way and I know in my heart that I NEED San Diego, my mind is made up.

Dear San Diego, please make room for me. I promise I’ll treat you well and always be thankful for the beauty and chill vibes you have to offer. I’ll learn to surf, dress like a billabong advert and always cheers to you as I’m sitting with my toes in the sand, beer in one hand and California burrito in the other. I know long distance is hard right now but don’t give up on us, I’m coming soon I promise…I love you California.


Awkward Girl 🙂

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A little rant: About pants

Before we begin:

1.No I did not intentionally mean for the title to rhyme but turned out cool right?

2.This rant is highly influenced by the fact that I love wearing skirts and dresses so just keep that in mind as you go through this reading.


Oh pants, we’ve had quite a tremulous relationship haven’t we? You have let me down sometimes but I have to admit that so have I, as I tend to leave you lonely at the bottom of my dresser. You offer absolutely no wiggle room for my tummy or thighs which makes me feel like a tightly packed sausage at a meat deli. Although you suck me in and attempt to show off what I have to offer, I sometimes just want to be free from your restraints and I often feel like you hold me back from doing the things that I want to do, like breathe or eat a cheeseburger. Over the years, you have been getting better though, with your addition of high waisted styles which, let me tell you, is a great step up from your low rise mommy daycare type look. Also, I very much appreciate the artistic liberty you’ve taken with the “ripped jeans” look. It lets my legs breath but sometimes if you’re too tight, I look like a sausage and I can’t say I like that very much. Last year, you decided to give out on me and rip in front of not only my friends but my coworkers and the community, I was mad at you and rightfully so. Although what you did was insensitive to my feelings, I shouldn’t have cut you out the way I did. Yes, I did wear skirts instead of you for a very long while after our falling out, I just needed some space, my rear end and legs needed the space to be exact. This year, I agree to turn a new leaf. No more fighting, no more neglect from my part and please for goodness sake no tarring from your end, please! So far this year, I have been impressed but don’t go slacking now, midterm season is approaching so I’ll need all the waist band room you can give me. Anyways, I’m sorry but I think we can mend (like the pants I ripped) what was broken and move on to happier times together.


Awkward Girl.

PS: Shoutout to Old Navy for my first ever pair of skinny jeans in middle school. My mom wasn’t sure about you, but you guys ended up being awesome! You are the OG skinnies and always will be, love ya <3

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Peer Review #1: I’m a blog reviewer now?

Carly Camera


For this assignment, we were tasked with examining and reviewing one of our peers blog and say what we think about it. First of all, just a little disclaimer, (I feel like a youtube saying that lol) I just want to say that I am no blog professional and as much as my opinion will be authentic and I hope it offers some good feedback, I am by no means a credited blog reviewer. Alright let’s get started!

Let me just say that Carly seems to be one organized chick and I think that with a blog or any kind of website, organization can separate a successful blog from an unsuccessful one. Everything had it’s place and I was not scrambling looking for content to review. Another element I thought added to the overall organized and tidiness of the website was the aesthetic. All aspects of the home page were concise and clean looking. I also really appreciated the colour coordination, it made all aspects of the page feel related and like they belonged together like a little “blog family”. Although everything was very visually pleasing, there was one aspect that confused me at first glance. The name of the blog is “Carly Camera” but there was not much camera or picture things going on. I mean, there was little ones next to blog posts but picture taking did not seem like it was the central theme running through the blog. As I did more searching through her pages and posts, I quickly understood her vision. It was more of a lifestyle blog showcasing her love for photography and picture taking and not one focused on it. After this clarification, I had a much better idea of what the blog was about as well as Carly as a blogger. Her vision board post I think is what helped me the most in figuring out the direction of her blog, that as well was so pretty and organized. (Carly, as you can probably tell at this point in the review, I am quite obsessed with your organization as it is something I strive to achieve in my blog as well as my life haha). One of my favourite pages was her about page. ( It was concise yet informative and the picture was really cute and representative of her simplistic style. Another one of my favourite pictures was the one from your trip to Oregon with the bubbles, it’s so cute! (

All in all, I think Carly Camera is on a path of great “aesthetic blog goals” as well as a successful website future. Everything about your blog seemed authentic and like you put a lot of thought into it which really translated to the reader. I think if you keep working on building your organization by adding to your pages and linking your blog posts/process posts to them, it will make the home page more user friendly. Hopefully this helps ? PS: Your blog is really cool.

To: Carly Camera

From: Awkward Girl

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I have an Idea! (It concerns avocado’s and toast)

One thing you must know about me is that I love food! Now I know I probably have that in common with a lot of people but I really take my “food love” seriously. I love researching food, looking at it, eating it, learning about it, really everything about it, I love. One of my favourite foods to indulge in (I say indulge not because the food itself is unhealthy but it can be pretty expensive for it’s value) is avocado toast!! Just thinking about it gets my salivary glands jumping for joy. As much as I love this tasty treat, it is crazy expensive! Why? WHY? It’s only some toast and a half an avocado smeared on top, it should not be 10$ right? Anyways, because I love it so much, I stupidly still end up paying 10$ for my avocado toast. Because I kept getting duped out of my money by this simple yet delicious dish, I started getting full investigator up in here and going on crazy web searches for the cheapest avocado toast in Vancouver. Through (what felt like) countless hours of research, a thought occurred to me: In a city as trendy as Vancouver, why has nobody invented an avocado toast only restaurant or cafe? If it was moderately priced and well marketed, I bet it would be super successful (this is coming from me, a person with absolutely 0 business or entrepreneurship experience so take this with a grain of salt). It would greatly popular with all the hipsters and boogie health yoga moms wondering the streets of Vancouver + me. So here is my avocado toast restaurant/cafe idea blueprint:

-Restaurant will be green on the inside, but a nice green, one that doesn’t leave you feeling nauseous.

-Name is still a work-in-progress, but I’m thinking something cute like “Avo-lisicous” or, something edgy like “Avo + Toast.” (the period at the end ads edgy intrigue you know?)

-The menu will be filled with different crazy concoctions for avocado toast while also having a “build your own” option where, similar to subway, there will be a variety of toppings behind an enclosed glass casing where you will ask your “avocado barista” to build your very own creation.

-The already pre-set avocado toast menu will include items such as:

1)The “Original” (obviously): sourdough bread topped with avocado, olive oil and salt and pepper.

2)The “Breakfast Sandwich Avo” toast: English muffin topped with avocado, poached egg, bacon and parmesan cheese.

3)The “Avocado Waffle”: Belgian waffle topped with avocado, candied walnuts and a very light drizzle of honey.

4)The “French Avo”: Baguette topped with avocado, blue cheese, prosciutto, arugula and walnuts.

I have more ideas but you get the gist of it ya?

In conclusion, if Vancouver had an all avocado toast restaurant or cafe type place, that would be awesome and I would eat there. The end.


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Process Post: Building a website, it’s a process.

Alright, website building. I would first like to start this excerpt by acknowledging all the web and techy individuals out there, what you do is truly an art. I honestly don’t know how you do it.

So needless to say, this process (which is still ongoing and probably will be for the rest of semester) has not been an easy one. WordPress is a beast of an application and I think that even if I spent my whole career mastering it, I would still be learning something new everyday. The first thing that was hard to learn was the lingo. I felt like I was the only one who didn’t “speak” WordPress and I was just drowning in all the new terms and phrases. I felt like my dad when my little sister tries to explain to him what is Instagram. After somewhat understanding the main points of WordPress and how to make my blog look presentable, it did become more fun. I was now able to add my own flare to my website which started to make it feel my own. I wish I really had more to say about it but really I’m still right smack in the middle of the mess. I’m still trying to hone in on the main theme of my website while simultaneously trying to understand WordPress.

Although there isn’t much on the technology front of it, one thing I can say is that my theme has very much evolved. At first, I really thought I was going to take a vlogging direction to my website. Haha, ohhh Vero…so naive. I think the problem with that idea was that it didn’t have a clear direction and I was honestly so lost on how to make it good or how to translate my idea into a cohesive one. The new direction of my blog is very much more “my style” and something I can see myself really thriving in this semester. Also, with this new blog direction, it gives me a lot more flexibility to take the blog where I want. I’ve always been the most indecisive person ever (my boyfriend can attest to that as he always has to pick where we eat, poor guy.), and so that’s why I think this new blog idea will truly give me the wiggle room I need to make changes and learn from things that might not work so well.

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Short Story: Millennial Addiction

It all started in middle school, my mom always warned me not to get involved with the wrong crowd. I’ve always been somewhat of a rule breaker and so my mom’s words of wisdom were bound to be broken but, I never thought it was going to lead to this. I never meant for it to happen, it just did. The first time I ever tried it, I was at lunch with my friend Brian. A lot of my friends parents including my own, didn’t like Brian very much because of his secret addiction. Brian was actually a really great person and I being the stubborn rebel that I was, was not going to not hang out with him just because of this small part of his life, I didn’t think it defined him. The first time I held it in my hands, it gave me this rush of endorphins as if an electrical current ran through my body leaving behind a warm and fuzzy feeling. After that first time, I was hooked. Brian and I would hide under the bleachers at lunch everyday and take turns passing it back and fourth until the bell rang again. Once I got to high school, I got bored of the same old thing, I needed more. I started getting into bigger and more powerful models. I would use all the lunch money my parents gave me and save it until I had enough money to get a better one. I always kept it in my locker at school and never dared to bring it home because of what my parents would do to me if they found out but one night, I just couldn’t do without it. I snuck it into my backpack and as soon as I got home I ran upstairs and hid it under my bed. When my parents finally went to bed, I went straight up to my room and was on it all night. It was truly invigorating and once you started, it was impossible to stop. I would find myself often times distracted in class or simply in conversations because my mind was constantly stuck on the thought of it, craving to hold it in my hands. During my senior year of high school, I had truly hit rock bottom. It was time to apply for colleges and during my meeting with the guidance councillor, I was told that my grades were not going to be good enough to apply to many colleges, if any. I would have to reconsider my life path or perhaps redo some credits if I wanted any chance at getting in anywhere. Getting home from school that day, my mom was waiting for me sitting at the dinner table with her hands neatly intertwined, resting on her lap. Her expression did not seem angry or disappointed but simply expressionless as if I had messed up so bad there was nothing else for her to say. “What have you been doing Liam? What the hell did you do to get here?” I had let my addiction get in the way of my life and it was now going to affect my future which for the first time in my life scared the shit out of me. It had started so innocently under the bleachers of my middle school, how did it get to this. I pulled out a chair and set my backpack down onto it. I slipped it out of its compartment and slid it across the table to where my mother was sitting. “Damn it Liam.” I sat down and poured my feelings out into my hands, cupping my face as I didn’t have the courage to look at her. I was so ashamed. My mom and I had decided that the best next step was for me to join a support group so I could start my recovery. I personally thought it was somewhat bullshit but I was willing to try anything. The week following my ultimate rock bottom, my mom picked me up from school to drive me to support group. When I walked in, I had realized something that now looking back was a huge part in my recovery. I wasn’t alone. I always thought this didn’t happen to “people like me”, but it can happen to anyone. I failed to realize that anyone can get wrapped up in these things and only with education and open discussion about the topic will it assure that more people can become aware of it’s dangers. This addiction will not define who I am and through this experience I got the opportunity to truly discover my strength as well as my true identity. “Hello, my name is Liam, I am 19 years old and I am addicted to my phone. I’ve been clean for a week now and I feel liberated. Thank you.”

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Anecdote #1: Treadmill Incident

So, the other day I was at the gym trying to run off the several handfuls of honey shreddies I had scarfed down the night before (Side bar: Am I the only one who loves to eat dry cereal as a midnight snack? Well if that’s you, I would 10/10 recommend honey shreddies, super yummy!), when I slowly started to feel my ponytail slipping out. Now you might think that the fact that my ponytail was coming un-done is a very un-imporant detail to my story but in reality, it’s the first piece of the puzzle that lead to the embarrassing story I’m about to share. So back to the ponytail, it started to get undone so I tried to re-tie it while trying to maintain my oh so elegant jog. All while this was happening, the song on my playlist had ended and I really wanted to listen to it again so, as the very impatient person I am, I wanted to click the replay button right away despite the fact that I was jogging and re-tieing my ponytail. Let me set the scene for you: I had one hand in my hair, one hand fidgeting with my phone and then my feet wiggle-waggling all over the place trying to keep it all together. I’ve never been a good multi-tasker and some external force definitely wanted to remind me of this in this moment. Before I knew it, my hand got caught in my earphones which pulled my phone forward off the ledge it was rested on. I frantically released the grip from my hair in an attempt to catch my phone. Because I was concentrating so hard on trying to make sure my phone wasn’t going to fall, I some how forgot that I needed to keep moving my feet on the treadmill. In this moment, I had to make a very hard decision, 1) let my phone fall or 2) let myself have a very nice trip and fall down the treadmill. As much as I love my phone, I decided to prioritize my face in this moment of crisis. I quickly put my hands on the handlebars of the treadmill and jumped off the fast moving carpet beneath me. As I was happy for my face, I watched in pain as my phone sky rocketed across the treadmill and crash into the elliptical behind me. I then with all my courage, very elegantly ended my session on the treadmill, picked my phone up from the ground and quickly, very very quickly left the gym. No honey shreddies were burnt off that day.

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Process Post: Talking to Strangers (Attempt #1)

This week, we were given the task to talk to a random person and strike up a conversation. Sounds pretty easy right? Mmmmm wrong. At first I thought that this exercise would be super easy for me since I work in residence at my school and have to say hi to a bunch of random students everyday, yet this felt different. I think it’s because actually talking to someone versus having a conversation feels a lot different than a quick shy “smile and wave”. For example, if I receive a bad reception in the form of a weird face expression to my “smile and wave”, I can just pretend I was waving to the person behind them or somehow play it cool but with a conversation, there’s no escape. There is no way to play it cool, you really just have to commit. Committing to the fact that you might make a complete fool of yourself and have a funny story to tell tomorrow or if I’m lucky, make a new friend. Anyways, this is how it went down…

I was getting into my car with my boyfriend when we noticed this guy looking at a dent on the rear bumper of his car in the parking lot. He was trying to get it to pop out by pushing through the inside. Because I am a super procrastinator and often find myself wondering the deep depths of youtube, I knew of a better solution from once watching this guy pour hot water on his car dent which made it pop out almost instantaneously. (I know what you’re thinking, why out of all the videos on youtube did you decide to watch a video about car dents. To be honest I don’t really know but look, it came in handy right??) So I turn over to my boyfriend and I’m like “*Sigh*, if only he knew that really awesome trick I watched on youtube.” and then my boyfriend was like, “why don’t you go tell him”. At first I thought, are you crazy! He’s going to think I’m so weird but I was convinced with the little push of motivation from my boyfriend that I would try and share my hopefully useful car tip. At this point, I was in the car so my boyfriend drove up next to where the dented car was and I rolled down the window ready to talk to the complete stranger. “Excuse me!” I yelled. “Excuse me!” I yelled again. I swear this guy was either trying to ignore me or had a hearing problem. Little did I notice, he was wearing headphones, dang it. I told my boyfriend to honk the horn lightly to get his attention, BUT HE STILL DIDN’T LOOK OVER. The mom in me kept saying, “what the heck how loud is this boy playing his music, he will definitely go deaf if he keeps it that loud.” Now, I don’t know if I should of gotten out of the car or not but I just decided to leave and re-attempt this assignment a different day.

Dear headphone guy, if you’re out there reading this, just know, if you pour hot water on your dent it will most likely pop out. Sorry I didn’t have the courage to get out of the car and tell you that. Also, turn your music down, I’m only thinking of your future ear health. Sincerely,

Awkward Girl ?

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Process Post: Speed Dating…

Alright so, in class we did a little exercise where we all talked to each other for 20 seconds in order to pitch our website ideas to one another which was cleverly named “Speed Dating”. Let me just say this, speed dating should be left to actual dating not integrated into school work, it’s just awkward. (or maybe I’m just awkward, I’m not too sure.) The first problem was that we only had 20 seconds to pitch our ideas! It was just not enough time to convey what your website was truly about although at that point, I’m not sure a lot of us were 100% sure about the “vision” we wanted for our websites. Even though I found it to be not very effective, one good thing that came out of it was that I figured out my idea was not going to work, like at all. It didn’t have a clear path and I wasn’t too sure about how I was ever going to get there so it’s a good thing I had that harsh reality check before things got too far. Even though I resent academic speed dating, I have to be somewhat be thankful for what it has done for my blog. All in all, thank you speed dating for saving me from a disastrous website idea. ?

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